Americans love their trucks and SUVs. It’s a fact of life.
Auto manufacturers are increasingly ditching almost everything else in their lineup.
Ford will hold onto the Mustang. Everything else will be trucks or SUVs.
Others are following similar trajectories — and not only because Americans want those vehicles, but because companies can also make more money selling them.
More money, more demand. Hard to argue with that kind of math.
I, on the other hand, have never been comfortable behind the wheel of trucks or SUVs.
In a truck I feel patently ridiculous. I’m not going to haul anything. Ever. There is no aspect of my life that will require me to stop under a crane that drops a ton of cement blocks into the bed of a pickup.
And if someone did drop cement blocks in my truck, now what? Now I have to move them? Hard pass.
SUVs are a little bit better.
At least there someone didn’t just chop the back off, call it something like, “The Porterhouse Lariat Bar Fight Punch Edition” and mark it up $10,000.
But, again, I’m just one person. In my car, I can comfortably carry four. I can uncomfortably carry five.
I don’t want the ability to carry more people than that. Ever.
I don’t like being around that many people at all under any circumstance. I certainly don’t want to be responsible for driving for them. If I wanted that I could have just gotten a job with Greyhound.
So 95 percent of the time I end up hauling around an extra ton of steel and wiring filled with nothing.
Again, hard pass.
Then there’s the matter of parking either of those monstrosities. I can’t.
Spoiler alert: With very few exceptions, you can’t either.
I will concede that there are people who can back a giant truck into a spot dead center. I can only assume that their day job involves rocket science.
The vast majority are diagonal across a space — requiring drivers of the vehicles on either side of them to be made of liquid metal to get in or out.
“But I like being up high where I can see!”
Which, ok, you have visibility now in certain conditions, but if everyone is driving an SUV or truck, then you’re right back where you were. Are we going to start an arms race? Are we going to start driving semis next — just an endless parade of gravel trucks?
But the worst part?
You can’t turn a truck or SUV quickly. Some of this comes down to weight distribution. Some of this comes down to drivers being scared.
Either way, left or right, they slow to a near stop to make the turn. Now imagine that multiplied over and over and over at every intersection.
Soon we’ll all age and die as we wait for the parade of Suburbans and Tahoes to carefully execute a three point turn.
Chris Lykins is the editor of the Seguin Gazette. You can e-mail him at firstname.lastname@example.org.