We recently went to a “destination wedding” for our nephew and his absolutely wonderful bride. Of course, since most of our family is far flung, almost every wedding is a destination wedding for us. While this wedding was unique to the loving couple, I have noticed a certain cast of characters at nearly every wedding I’ve attended. Maybe you’ll recognize a few from a wedding you’ve been to recently:

The Young Guns — Usually part of the groom’s crew, these are the young guys who adopt the tough dude pose when the photographer comes by. They spend the first two hours at the bar, then suddenly populate the dance floor with the kinds of moves that apparently require an elevated blood alcohol level.

The Shy Girl — She’s young, rarely says anything to the adults at the table, but before too long she’s on the dance floor with her over-protective aunts and doting grandmother, showing off a few moves all her own.

The Muncher — Usually an older uncle, this is the gentleman who never lets a passed hors d’oeuvres platter get by without a sample — or three. Later he’ll regale you with what was the best item on the menu, how he was full even before dinner arrived. Of course, he still manages to clear his plate and have two slices of cake (gotta try the bride’s and the groom’s cake, right?) without a problem.

The Dancing Chicks — These ladies take over the dance floor early, often kicking off their shoes within the first hour. Several of them are quite dangerous, pulling in even the most reluctant wedding guests for a little time on the dance floor. One bit of advice about these women: they cannot be stopped. Trust me, it’s best to sway in place on the dance floor until they move on to their next victim.

The Teary Toaster — Often a member of the wedding party, they start their toast with the words “I don’t want to start crying” and within two sentences they are giving their heartfelt and teary (and therefore largely unintelligible) toast to the bride and groom.

The Running Little One — Wearing his first suit or her first fancy party dress, this youngest member of the wedding group is running around in the background, often with one or two parents dashing after them. By the time the reception comes around, both the little one and the parent looks like they ran a marathon, and this in shoes meant for show, not running. Weddings are almost as good as waterparks for wearing out little kids.

I’m so thrilled for my nephew and his wife. And I’m hoping there will be another wedding very soon since we’ve got at least one engagement out there pending a wedding date.

But I know what you want to know — so who am I in this list of characters? Let’s just say if you ever go to a wedding with me, you better have your dancing shoes on, because darlin’, I’m guaranteed to be dragging you to the floor for a spin. No matter how many slices of cake you’ve had.

Winter Prosapio is a writer, a wife, and a working mom of two girls, two cats, and one ridiculously enthusiastic terrier mix.

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