When something new is about to happen, that little pit in the bottom of my stomach starts to send out signals.
It’s not panic, not yet at least. For me, it’s the fear of the unknown and flood of “what ifs” begin to drown me until it begins.
And then sometimes, the waves of doubt linger and crash into me, until I realize I can stand. It’s the shallow end of the pool.
That’s what happened almost five years ago when I took the plunge and joined a weight loss challenge.
“What if I’m no good at this?”
“What if I mess up?”
Until I finally thought, “What if I enjoy it?”
There was a thought.
Although it took a long time to get there I finally decided to try. Pretty sure a snail would have beat me to the finish line on that one.
When it first began, I drug my feet on making changes. I wanted to prove that big gains (or losses) could be made without changing a whole lot.
I saw some change, but not like others were seeing.
Then what with the right amount of pushing and great coaching, I started to turn things around.
I just had to first make the commitment, make the promise to myself and then follow through with it
The first month was the hardest, but as I started to see the results I began to change everything — what I eat, the way I eat, how much I ate, working out almost on a daily basis, and having more self awareness.
After three months was done, the challenge was over, however, I stayed the course, for a while at least.
I continued to lose weight, and I got stronger. I walked about three miles almost every day and worked to build up my running game, training for 5Ks.
But let’s be honest, running isn’t exactly my forte.
If I’m running, there is probably something chasing me.
However, things happen. Those who know me, know I’m not exactly graceful, and a short trip — literally — sent me flying into a marble stairwell, knee first.
Of course, that put me back, but I was determined to try to keep it up.
But as per my usual mode, it got and started to eat unhealthily.
My workouts happened less frequently, until they became so far and few between the gym staff doesn’t even know who I am.
Now, I find myself, realizing, it’s time to make a change, get back on the walking track and eat healthy again.
Change isn’t always easy, but sometimes it is necessary.
And that little pit in my stomach, it may be nerves, it may be fear but I’m pretty sure it’s hunger.
There are always reasons to wait, “it’s the holidays,” “I’ll start at the beginning of the month,” but now is as good as time as any.
Oh look, it’s Girl Scout cookie season, guess I can wait a little while longer to start.